Categories
Uncategorized

Er, about that diet…

That diet I’m on, where I deleted every game on my phone? Yeah, I put some games back. Something in a comment about not coloring every picture. I was compulsively coloring. Every. Picture. So Happy Color is back, and now I deliberately color only the ones that are the kind I like to color (mostly […]

2020 – a leap year

You know how the kitchen always ends up a mess when you cook, even if you’re one of the clean-as-you-go folks? There will be a delicious meal – and there will be splashes and spots and dirty dishes. 2019 was like that. I learned so much but it was a hard year. 2019 has left […]

Categories
Uncategorized

Clearing out

I think I’ve mentioned Daily Om before, a website that offers life affirming essays and online courses. I’m currently taking a course on clearing. On any other website, it would be called decluttering, but it’s not just getting rid of stuff. It’s the why we hang on to things and how it feels to have […]

Categories
Uncategorized

Another battle

Obviously, something deep in my subconscious wants to imitate Nedry’s lock screen in “Jurassic Park”, doing his finger-wagging “Ah-ah-ah”. I had bronchitis in February. Was out sick for two weeks. Bronchitis was something I had a lot as a kid. Usually when the bullying over time finally got to me, my body would react with […]

Categories
Uncategorized

Five year journey, part 2

(Part 1 here) Sometimes, I think that I have undiagnosed ADHD. I relate too well to descriptions of people with ADD etc. Apparently, December children are overrepresented on the ADD spectrum. I am a December child. My therapist did point out that it doesn’t really matter if I have ADD or not; I hold down […]

Categories
Uncategorized

Five year journey, part 1

I’m thinking about the last five years, because the blog I started in 2014 went poof as I switched providers. (Always read the instructions thoroughly before switching website hosts, kids.) Then a bit of magic happened and I could save my texts and restore posts; the photos were already saved. As I went through and […]

Categories
Uncategorized

90, if you want

A friend commented on another blog post of mine about how we’re told that loneliness shortens a life span like a smoking habit does. Her married parents are now within waving distance of 90; she doubts she’ll get to that age. I have a theory, or maybe it’s just a good ol’ opinion about longevity […]

Categories
Uncategorized

Expecting

In my ongoing journey to figure myself and life and all that stuff out, I’m now trying to learn about non-attachment. Attachment = expectation. In “The Shack”, they suggest you ditch the noun and go for the verb: Expecting. That is making more and more sense to me. Expectation sets you up for failure; expecting […]

Categories
Uncategorized

At the root: Fractals

Once physical disease is ruled out, it is time to consider the root cause of most mental depression: a lack of love and connection in life (not a lack of serotonin). Source: Wikipedia Commons Via Paula’s blog comes the idea of grabbing some book, going to page 62 and line 6 on that page to […]

Categories
Uncategorized

Help

The spring of 1969, I traveled across country with my grandma and grandpa. Just before leaving California, I had heard The Beatles song “Help!”. The movie had been showing on TV one evening at my mother’s. I liked the song and I remember singing it in Maine, where we’d stopped off at Grandma’s son’s place […]

Categories
Uncategorized

A tale about teeth

Norway has been good to me, dentally. My grandpa was also good to me. Orthodontics are subsidized but still cost out of pocket. So the year I had no cavities I started wearing a retainer. One thing Norwegian children have been through together, is the school dentist. In my part of Norway, the school dentist […]

Categories
Uncategorized

Back to the beginning

I tripped over a book on using yogic mantras to help with anxiety and depression. So I said OM a lot this morning, and maybe that’s exactly what I needed to get going again (as well as three days of rest and downtime). I once upon a time, back in California, meditated and chanted OM, […]

Categories
Uncategorized

Too much, too soon

Yesterday’s grouchiness was a warning. My body and my moods are basically klaxons trying to get my attention. This morning I had no energy, no desire, no absent Grumpy. He was still with me. He had a message. I hate when I’m like this. I hate that my emotions so easily rise to the surface […]

Categories
Uncategorized

Grumpy got hugs

So, as usual, I am Mercurial and go up and down more than a rollercoaster. After a great day yesterday—which I realize now may have taken more out of me than I thought, with all that talking to the psychologist—I ended up grumpy today. Total raincloud-right-over-my-head grumpy. Grumpy At the end of the day, a […]

Categories
Uncategorized

Comfort zone

My comfort zone:Sitting on a bus on a rainy day I don’t like ever talking about what goes on deep inside of me. A few close friends may find out, but not co-workers or you, my reader. But the truth is, I’ve gotten a taste of what it is like to be struggling with something […]

Categories
Uncategorized

Finale

It arrived. The one document that makes everything irreversible. It makes me catch my breath. I get emotional opening the thick envelope from the US embassy in Oslo. They returned my passport, canceled. That’s what makes the envelope thick. The rest are slim papers: The actual Certificate of Loss of Nationality of the United States, […]

Categories
Uncategorized

Toxic

Coughing so hard, I can hardly breathe. Coughing so hard, I start to feel twinges I shouldn’t. This is what I had in February, and for a while I thought I had the flu. I didn’t. Instead, my body has decided that some foods are not good for me. The baffling thing was the fever. […]

Categories
Uncategorized

Misguided versus misogynistic

Yesterday’s post about a badly behaving co-worker, reminds me of another time a male co-worker behaved badly. In that second incident, a good man made a mistake. I did go to HR this time. I felt he needed to know that he had been terrifying. Norwegian men can get so tall. The guy in this […]

Categories
Uncategorized

Oaths and passports

I have been to the US embassy in Norway only twice. The first time was when I was 13, and had to say an oath in front of some embassy officer in order to get my passport renewed, seeing as how I was living in a foreign country. I remember my first passport, probably lost […]

Categories
Uncategorized

Renunciation Day

As the man said, as he took my signed papers, when I finally get notification that the Department of State has approved my renunciation in a couple of months’ time, the date on all the paperwork will say January 30, 2018. My renunciation day. All the having to be my own travel agent, map reader, […]