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Strength

“Wow! It takes such strength to say what you said!” I was dumbfounded. I didn’t understand. It wasn’t like I had to argue with myself, calm shaking hands, take a deep breath, before telling my coworkers I have anxiety. I just said the words. It seems to have mattered more to my listeners than to […]

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The beginning continues

I have moved from the prologue of this book of adventures that is now me and on to the first chapter. In the month that has passed since you last heard from me, I have created an altar (inspired by a Daily Om article), I have do Sanskrit chants like “Asatoma Sadgamaya” (spelling varies wildly) […]

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Back at the beginning

I’ve lost my way. Again. Once again I find myself looking for home. I wonder what my ball and chain are, what is weighing me down. The Universe cracks me up. It never fails to throw every single clue at me. Last night’s tarot card draw gave me The Fool. A card that means both […]

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In limbo

So maybe this change in routine has affected me more than I realize. Maybe my sheltering in place is no longer due to a virus but a depression. I like the social distancing. Maybe a little too much. I think it may be depression because I don’t do anything at home. Earlier I wrote about […]

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One meter apart

It’s been almost a month since I’ve been at the office. As it happens, my lunch gang all live near me and today we meet for lunch outdoors. It’s one of those classic April days: Still winter in the shade, darned near full summer in the sunshine. A day that’s hard to dress right for. […]

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Understanding Understand

Did you know that “mistakable” is the English word that includes the entire history of the English language? Neither did I. I was listening to “Språkteigen”, a Norwegian radio program on language and Norwegian dialects, and the organizers of a “word exhibit” were interviewed. The exhibit consisted of a single word from each language on […]

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Dugnad

“Dugnad”. Google translate says it means voluntary work. I live in the land of “dugnad”. It is actually unpaid work, usually for a common cause. (And pronounced sort of like “doog-nahd”.) Dugnad is not always pleasant or even voluntary. Certainly jokes abound about creative efforts to get out of doing dugnad, born out of how […]

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Er, about that diet…

That diet I’m on, where I deleted every game on my phone? Yeah, I put some games back. Something in a comment about not coloring every picture. I was compulsively coloring. Every. Picture. So Happy Color is back, and now I deliberately color only the ones that are the kind I like to color (mostly […]

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I’m on a diet

Ha, no, not one of those lose-your-Christmas-fat diets. I’m on a technology diet. Specifically: I have deleted every game on my cell phone. Even the ones I paid for. Many are also deleted from the library on Google play so I don’t even see what I used to have installed. It started last week when […]

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Brave enough, after all

Prologue: I am no longer on partial sick leave. I am considered well and am back to work 100%! I have new tasks but am the master of my day, even though my work calendar has never been as full as it is now! Now: I was tasked with teaching some part-time workers about what […]

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If you had lived

If you had lived we’d be still talking If you had lived we’d be hanging out at our favorite café If you had lived I’d be visiting you in the nursing home If you had lived We’d still be creating memories together But you didn’t live You didn’t make it this far with me I […]

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Clearing out

I think I’ve mentioned Daily Om before, a website that offers life affirming essays and online courses. I’m currently taking a course on clearing. On any other website, it would be called decluttering, but it’s not just getting rid of stuff. It’s the why we hang on to things and how it feels to have […]

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Spring magic

This year I seem to be more aware of budding trees. At this point in the season, where nights are still cold, although days are warmer, growth is slow, careful. I woke up to frost this morning, but now, as we approach sunset, my balcony is baking at a whole 26C/78F in the sun! Won’t […]

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Forgiveness

“Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive others their trespasses.” Matthew 6:12 I remember when I first started to seriously forgive people with whom I had a difficult relationship. I thought forgiving them would end something. It didn’t. It started something (I wish I’d been warned). I thought forgiveness was a way to pull a […]

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Another battle

Obviously, something deep in my subconscious wants to imitate Nedry’s lock screen in “Jurassic Park”, doing his finger-wagging “Ah-ah-ah”. I had bronchitis in February. Was out sick for two weeks. Bronchitis was something I had a lot as a kid. Usually when the bullying over time finally got to me, my body would react with […]

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The battle for spring

Of all the seasonal transitions, the one between winter and spring seems to be the most violent. I’ve tried to predict weather using astrology (astrometeorology). The starting point are the seasonal ingress charts, i.e. the charts for the equinoxes and the solstices or the cardinal signs. For the spring equinox the chart is made for […]

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Moon landing

I cannot remember when men first landed on the moon, in 1969. I was alive and old enough to remember something like that. We had a TV. That is to say, my granduncle had a TV—up on the old farm, in a little valley above a fjord. There was nothing on it until 6 pm, […]

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Apples, APP and another abbreviation

Apples makes me think of the old gold mining town of Julian in Southern California, a charming and tiny place that today specializes in apple pie. Warm apple pie with cheddar cheese on it is a wonderfully delicious combo! Lasers make me think of when laserium shows were new. There were shows in Los Angeles, […]

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Seashells

So something a bit shorter today, rather than the lengthy letter home of yesterday’s two blog posts (wherein I mention yoga). I can’t ever seem to go to a beach and not want to pick up a seashell or smoothed rock. Bad habit, really. It sadly just becomes clutter because I’ll never do something fancy […]

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Five year journey, part 2

(Part 1 here) Sometimes, I think that I have undiagnosed ADHD. I relate too well to descriptions of people with ADD etc. Apparently, December children are overrepresented on the ADD spectrum. I am a December child. My therapist did point out that it doesn’t really matter if I have ADD or not; I hold down […]