Nothing is certain but death and taxes. And swear words. Back when I still lived in the US, my mother and I got window seats at Philippe’s in downtown Los Angeles on the evening of April 15th, to watch people slowly driving by to toss their returns into huge hoppers on Alameda, which was one-way that night. I’ve also kept a Norwegian friend company on her walk to the tax return receptacle at 11 PM on April 30. We noted as we turned to walk home that we weren’t the last.
You may have seen there how I slipped Norway’s deadline in. So I have been swearing in English at my Norwegian forms this morning because I own pretend money that the government wants to know about.
Yeah, I’m late. For some darn reason I’ve been putting this off this year. I’ve been putting everything off. Even breakfast. I’m doing taxes on coffee alone.
Every year I tell myself I need to learn more about the stock my employer gives me every spring for being a good little worker bee, because I’m running out of cuss words every April.
This year I kept getting hung up on the word “realisert”. Same term in English: Realized gains. I knew I’d gotten another handful of stocks last spring but did not know how many or the emission date or the value (why do I not write these things down when they happen??? It happened again this year, and I wrote nothing down!) but I gained something, right?
Many of my cuss words were spent on looking for information I finally realized (HAH!) I didn’t need.
Because I didn’t sell any of my pretend money to get real money last year. I just got more pretend money.
So now the Certain Thing is signed, sealed and delivered, all electronically, and the little receipt thingy is sitting in my electronic inbox.
Now that that’s over I can blog. And make breakfast.
And leave this post here so that maybe I’ll remember during the rest of this year to pay attention so I’m not so lost next year.
Also: Led Zeppelin is awesome music to do death and taxes and other stuff to.