Facebook: Crash and burn

“Please tell us why you are deactivating your account.” I selected, “I don’t find it useful”. Facebook then informed me that if I connected with more friends I probably would.

No, Facebook. The few friends I had connected with were sending virtual drinks and teddy bears and graffiti and hugs and group messages all over and I was getting notified of almost everything because Facebook wants me to know what my friends are up to. And yes, you can opt out of the e-mail notifications. But what difference does that make? Next time you log in, a bunch of unread messages, another bunch of invites to be green or international or peace-loving or whatever, and virtual bouquets of flowers, martinis or gifts waiting to be collected – and it all means adding another app and with that, another icon. The picture shows my list of apps at quitting time.

Some of it was fun, yes, but it got too – messy. Too many messages, too many updates, too many tabs to click and places to check, and the invitations inevitably meant accepting yet another app (like the I Am Green and Happy Hour! and Friends Density apps) and then it didn’t always work, which meant there was an invitation not yet accepted, waiting. The message discussions were between friends I already do e-mail discussions with and with a better interface.

I have indeed reconnected with a couple of friends from Usenet, back when. But Facebook does not replace Usenet or e-mail. I could not make practical use of it, nor did I see anyone else making practical use of it, so I bowed out. I already have a bunch of RSS feeds and daily web sites, a few Usenet groups, and e-mails to read, and can’t always keep up with. Whew! I sound busy! Well, yes. Why Facebook doesn’t fit for me is because it got bogged down in “cute” (I don’t do cute, people). And I couldn’t figure out how to find local events. I think Facebook is a cancer: Takes over the body’s resources and feeds on sugar.

OK, maybe not a cancer. More like a loud cocktail party. I was just trying to explain to friends the difference between extroverts and introverts. This is what I wrote:

I’m pretty talkative and bubbly myself and because I share some of my pains with other people I’m not personal friends with, I thought for years that I was an extrovert even though after three days of constant interaction with other people, I have to be all by myself.

Turns out there are plenty of talkative and bubbly introverts. It’s _what_ they talk about that sets them apart from the extroverts.

Extroverts need to work out their feelings and personal stuff together with other people, and so tend to share details that make most introverts question the extrovert’s sense of decency. For the extrovert that’s business as usual; being without other people for too long drains them.

The introvert prefers to share personal or intimate details with the few close and trusted in his/her life and often/usually works out emotional stuff by withdrawing, pondering, meditating. Being with other people for too long drains them.

Extrovert: I can’t stand being all by myself. I love seeing other people! Let’s party!
Introvert: I’d rather be home reading a good book than engaging in smalltalk.

(Which is true. I’d either better be having a good conversation with one or two people or on the floor dancing, or I’ll just go home. I don’t care how wonderful the party or that I paid to get in. I’ll pay to leave, too. I’ve taken a cab home early more than once.)

Facebook suddenly appeared as noisy as a cocktail party to me, but far more chaotic. After all, at a cocktail party, you can slink off to a corner and nurse your drink in peace.

My name is so unusual, and this blog so old, that if anyone cares to find me, they will, without Facebook. And when you do find me, I would love to hear from you.

PS: I did just get a new book in the mail. I’m reading tonight!

By Keera Ann Fox

I am a bi-lingual American who has lived most of my life in Norway.
Jeg er en tospråklig amerikaner som har bodd mesteparten av mitt liv i Norge.

9 replies on “Facebook: Crash and burn”

What the hell? I didn\’t get any flowers or martinis, just some mashed potatoes thrown in my face and demands to take quizzes. Hmph. But I don\’t mind it that much, so far. I\’ve exchanged a few messages with peeps who arent\’ doing blogs now, so that\’s cool. I\’m also sort of an extroverted introvert. I often stay vewwy vewwy quiet when the topic is boring or too personal, but if it\’s something I want to discuss, then blammo you can\’t shut me up. BTW, Keera, you\’ll be happy to know I won\’t be sacrificing any more necklaces. 🙂 Check my blog for the Zelda post.


I\’ve only recently waded into the Facebook waters, and other than a couple fellow bloggers (MizUV, Sour Grapes), all my \”friends\” are co-workers. We do use it for some work-related stuff, but pretty much it\’s just time-wasting silliness. But like UV, I don\’t mind it so much. Yet.


Paula, I checked the Zelda thing. As you already know. :-)Jefe, the friend who invited me got signed up because of her job. Considering that the visual clutter really bothers me (and the interface isn\’t so hot), I\’m grateful my job doesn\’t demand I use it.


But can I still poke you? Ouch. Waahhh! Bummer. I\’m just getting to wot green leafs is wot! …and filling out the forms toOh, hey, you already know what my pet peeve is :DAnd the Questions box! pick a skin?! (wot does #1 mean on teh leaf!?Other Answer: Eggnog & French Canadian Pea Soup.Cheers!


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